Indian Girls and The Society. February 28th, 2014

This post is taken from the Quora post

I am posting this without the permission of the author Rohan as quora does allow me to post this in their license agreement.
Since I liked his post very much so I'am posting this.

So here is something for the girls who are illusioned by their own niche.

TL;DR Version : Hypocrisy and the easy availability of big words to justify it.

Just a peek at the comments section below and you will realize how true this is.

I'll leave out all the diplomatic BS and come straight to the point. Increased exposure to foreign media has made girls become aware of and set a standard benchmark for what defines a 'good guy', which is not really a bad thing; But they conveniently forget that a relationship is not only about expecting potential matches to evolve and judging those that haven't but also about a little bit of introspection about what they bring to the table as far as the aforementioned 'evolution' is concerned. When they look at guys back home, they are obviously disillusioned because reality can be a bitch sometimes.

They want the guy to be modern but conveniently they don't want to let go off their own ancient views. They are partially modern, as per convenience.

Such behavior reminds me of what king Leonidus said in the movie 300 'Give them nothing and take from them everything'. Ahoo! Ahoo Ahoo!!

A girl can very vocally blabber how she wants a fair dude with nice abs and a good bank balance and conveniently not sound materialistic about physical attributes and possessions but when a guy expects a fair girl with a nice pair of tits, it suddenly becomes offensive and 'barbaric' and objectification of the woman.

The quintessential Indian girl can go all 'have you seen your face in the mirror' on a guy but if a guy does the same, he is a chauvinist.

The quintessential Indian girl blabbers about how she is equal to the male and how she is independent with her finances, but when it comes to relationships she will conveniently drop the typical 'you wont even be able to afford my makeup bills' line.

Top causes for the above mentioned effect :

Most of them are socially awkward and difficult to approach : They are loaded with self-victimization and lack the social skills to make new connections.

Scenario :

Guy : Excuse me miss, what's the time?
Girl : OMG! such a pervert! he totally wants to sleep with me!

Sex ratio is skewed. More choice = more arrogance. This applies not only to dating but for arranged marriages as well, which makes it easy for them to seek a groom who would have been way out of their reach had they been facing an 'free market' scenario like in the west.

Bad Experiences. Too many guys who 'wanna be fraandship with tham'. Who have ruined it for all the other guys. Though, the opaque illusion of being the priced possession leads to unnecessary propagation of female chauvinism which helps no one. I don't deny the existence of 'fraandship guys' but then again, I fell from my bike once, but I did not conclude that all Indian bikes are faulty. Just like a girl seeks the benefit of doubt claiming that 'not all girls are like that', I suppose it shouldn't be difficult to extend the same courtesy to guys as well.

Presumptuous Nature Of Indian Girls.
(Again, big words; ahem...ahem.. Schrödinger's Rapist, misogyny, patriarchy, Indian society..)

The assumption of unconditional superiority, precisely :

Girls = Divine offspring of mother nature herself
Guys = Rapists

The very fact that most of the top voted answers on this question have started their reply with CAUTION, HAZARD and other alerts that grossly generalize all guys as a threat, shows that very presumptuous and prejudiced notion that Indian girls carry, regardless of their educational background, apparently. So let me not waste a lot of words on trying to say it again. The irony being, that I am being accused of generalization and trying to show the other gender in poor light when the aforementioned reply is loaded with it. Convenient. 

For those who claim that 'dating culture does not exist', here is a dose of reality :

They will date multiple guys while making them feel like shit and marry a completely different guy, all the while knowing that this is going to happen.

It's not like Indian girls wont date, in fact, they would date the shit out of you, total American style where you get to play the prince of her dreams (at least until she gets married to the prince of her dad's dreams). You get to pull the chairs for her, hold doors open, and pay the bills, but you have to be mature enough to understand that after dating you she is going to ultimately marry some other guy that her dad fell in love with, because from the mouth of the mare herself "Come on yaar, you know it was never going to work out, you find a good girl for yourself ok? I know you will, and don't even think about committing suicide ok? here is my wedding card. It's 80rs per print, it's a costly card, and we have chicken on the reception menu, please do come"

The dating culture does exist and more often than not, it is the girl that is calling the shots, not the other way round unlike the feminists have portrayed it to be.

And yes, after all the BS about independence, liberation and equality, the first criteria for an Indian girl seeking a guy for arrange marriage (or otherwise) is still his salary.

So let me get this straight :

Guy seeking dowry = vile (no doubt in that...)
Girl seeking a husband with a high salary = financial stability (yeah, this is really convenient...)

The problem about Indian society being misogynistic and dowry-hungry will automatically stop if the bride's parents themselves stop narrowing down their overzealous groom-hunt based on his salary; That is a kind of objectification in it's own right. That is where the problem spurts in the first place.

Contrary to popular belief, women are not the only species that are objectified in Indian marriages. That courtesy is extended to the groom too. It ends up becoming the trending topic of discussion; More trending than twitter hash tags.

Doting In-law A : My son-in-law is in Infosys, 4.5lac package, how about yours?

Doting In-law B : Mine is in Wipro, 4.3lac, Oh shit! missed world domination by 20k rupees!

And since we are talking about economics of Indian dating, I'd humbly like to add:

Feeding an Indian girlfriend is like paying the bills of someone else's future wife!

The corollary to the above theorem is also true :

If you arrange marry an Indian girl, you are almost always marrying some other heartbroken guy's girlfriend.

Note to those who want to refute this claim : Some people have been making the 'baby argument' and resorting to calling the society misogynist and their victimizing tone and half-assed feminism hurts the real women out there who have triumphed all odds and who actually deserve to be revered. So please read the comment linked below if you want to venture into the 'economics of dating' and 'feminism' angle of it.

'Ask for a date, get a marriage for free' Attitude

A lot of girls justify this errant behavior with the excuse that marriageability remains an important factor for the girl (again, please sing along with me, the anthem of feminism,, patriarchy, Indian; Which in itself is a childish assumption to start with, because it stems from the clingy notion that dating *should* lead to marriage. The oxy'moron' is strong in this one!

Ask a girl for a date, get free jail-time as a complimentary addition!
As is evident from the popularity that the top voted answer to this question, it is not an isolated incident of aggravation. Decent guys face such humiliation *every day* which is uncalled for (no brainer, eh?). Most don't have the courage, or resources or the support system to battle it out and it ends up scarring them for life, much like a rape would scar someone.

So all those musketeers who are 'oh so proud' about their sanskars, none of them enter wedlock as a pure soul. The sanskars are an excuse to guilt trap and manipulate their guys before the marriage and the 'modern thinking' crap is an excuse to guilt trap and manipulate their husbands after marriage.

The counter-argument never goes beyond blaming everyone but themselves.

It is not an uncommon sight to find them whining about how everything boils down to either misogyny, patriarchy, or blaming the ever elusive and metaphorical 'Indian society', while conveniently shrugging off their own responsibility.

If you hold the door open for the girl : Omg! you are such a misogynist! Do you think I am not strong enough to open doors for myself? Chauvinist creep!

If you don't hold the door open for the girl : Omg! you are such a product of patriarchy! Can't even hold the door open for the girl! Chivalry is dead!

You might as well :

  • Neighbor's cat gave birth? blame misogyny, patriarchy, Indian society!
  • Building collapses due to earth quake? misogyny, patriarchy, Indian society!
  • N.Korea threatens nuclear strike? misogyny, patriarchy, Indian society!
  • GDP goes down? know the anthem.

And this disease is not unique to the female folks, there are quite a lot of overzealous, self-righteous male musketeers who fit into this anecdote. These are the same guys who will be at the forefront of any argument, or rather, anything that involves women, making their presence felt like a diligently trained puppy. These are the same guys who bash up other people on the street for no apparent reason, just to feel the misplaced thrill of being a hypersensitive pro-women 'intellectual' man while conveniently labeling others as 'desi male'. Some unlucky ones don't get a chance to beat up anyone in real life so they resort to online forums with their pseudo-intellectual talk.

The whole point of their feminism stems from the misplaced belief of somehow using other people as a scapegoat to isolate their pitiful self from collective responsibility to make their own cosmetic moral high ground seem higher.

The prejudiced propaganda that follows under the name of Schrödinger's Rapist makes me wonder if we should start dealing with women with our own cautionary hypothesis of Schrödinger's Misandrist?

This is how we guys feel while dealing with Indian girls!

Disclaimer : I understand that my answer is a hyperbolic take on the issue and goes best with a pinch of salt. There was a reason I had to compile it the way I did and I have written an explanation for the same in my comment here :


Trust Me, I'm not a hacker August 15th, 2013

The title of this post pleads my readers to trust me.

Yes, Indeed I'm not a hacker and I have never been one.

With remniscence of the recent past that was unleashed by a social internet activist Edward Snowden.

The only crime that guy did was that he revealed the about the project PRISM and the suporting operations of

The NSA which actually hampers the privacy of the users. ..more

After a very long time, I feel very glad to share the top 10 Reasons for not using a Deo.

10. You bath everyday 

9. You don't like the smell of the deo.

8. You are poor and you cannot afford

7. You are rich but still you cannot afford.

6. You are lazy.

5. You have amnesia

4. You forget things easily.

3. You don't want to impress the people who you meet. 

2. You suck at everything.

1. You don't have a girlfriend. 

0. You seek revenge against ur sideys. [added entry from my sidey in office] 


Actually this hypothesis proves that you are not a very social Guy, and if you find yourself satisfying any 3 conditions, 

have a very good luck in getting a girl in your near future. 


During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!

#Freedom December 27th, 2012


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